Victims of sexual abuse? They are everywhere. How can this be? Why does this disgusting crime continue to escalate in our society and why doesn't God do something about it?
God's plan is for every child to be guarded and protected. His plan to protect children from sexual abuse is the same plan He uses to stop kids drowning in swimming pools, or burning their hand on the stove.
Yes! It is parents. God's plan is that every child be guarded by a family, and that unit is responsible for the safety, protection and training of each little person that is born.
But our children aren't born into a perfect world. Parents fail! And kids suffer, often times at the hands of their own parents. Other times they are left defenceless at the hands of others because, in the darkness, mums and dads don't see the danger.
Darkness! A lack of light! Although this disgusting crime usually takes place under the cover of night, the real camouflage is self-gratification, denial, lies, greed, selfishness. Lets name it for it really is. Evil. Sin.
The same motivators which drive the perpetrator, also hide the evidence from the child's protectors. Denial and ignorance prevent the recognition of signs of abuse. Selfishness and the desire to 'not upset the apple cart' can cause the carer to turn a blind eye. Exposing the sin and bringing it to the light has catastrophic effects. Relationships are lost, loved ones go into the hands of the police. Their security, both, financial and relational are under threat. Sub-consciously a decision is made to pretend it isn't happening and then a child is sentenced to a life of torment.
This decision is often justified by the carers own childhood experiences. 'Well, I survived, so he/she will just have to suck it up and live with it for the sake of the rest of the family'.
The sin, by its very nature, is hidden. It is shrouded by silence. Although, in his own mind,he has justified his actions as being harmless, the perpetrator never speaks of it and he silences his victim. 'This is our special secret! If you ever speak of this it will kill Mrs P'... or 'I will kill you.'
So where is God in this mess?
His heart is so broken, He sent Jesus. Yes, Jesus carried the pain of the victim on the cross. Bloodied, broken, exposed, he hung in public view. We know the soldiers mocked Him and made fun of Him. I'm sure, in that sin-filled, dark, evil environment, He would have been sexually abused amongst everything else He suffered.
God made man with a free will. He will never violate that. So, unable to stop abuse, pain and sin, He instead gave His Son so we can be healed. Whilst hanging on the cross, He illustrated the way to wholeness. 'Father, forgive them. They don't know what they are doing?'
He showed us that it is possible to forgive the unforgivable.
He also is ready to forgive, heal and restore parents who have been negligent. And He is waiting to forgive the perpetrator, remove the veil from his eyes and restore his seared conscience.
I hate sexual abuse! It is a vile, disgusting, painful blot on our society, but God is bigger. He can restore, heal, renew and make whole. In the meantime, His body, the church is called to wrap His arms around every hurting victim and pour the balm of His unconditional love over every hurting soul.
They march in, one after the other, forming a line in military precision. Row after row of them, disappearing into the distance. They are taking over. I am powerless to stop them and unable to defeat their great numbers.
I decide to take drastic measures and find that I can prevent their entry, for a length of time. The strategy is simple. Don't open the gate. But gates are gates for a reason. They must be opened to allow traffic to flow from both directions and once opened... they all march in . Some of these invaders are very welcome. I've been waiting on them and am keen to entertain them. But in order to find them I have to scan every face, eagerly grabbing those friendly or intriguing ones and pulling them aside. Unconcerned, the others continue to enter, looking neither left or right. They settle, taking up permanent residence until they are either rehoused or face the firing squad!
I could commit mass murder, but they look at me with that hint of secrecy, or is it guile? There is a glance that suggests I should dance with them for a while, let them entertain me briefly and, uncertain, I lower my loaded gun. Part of my brain tells me I can live without them; the other part argues, 'But what if I need them one day?'
So I demand to see their entry papers. They can't just march in here without and invitation! How dare they? I'll show them who is boss. Unperturbed, they flash their credentials at me. Every paper has a familiar signature on the bottom - mine! So now it appears I have found the problem. It is I!
Self awareness births a brutal streak. I march to the back of the line and open fire. Ruthlessly I annihilate twenty at a time. Impassioned, my statistician records progress. 683, 663, 645, 632.
Oh, no. I hear myself promising to look at this one later, or telling that one to wait. I close my eyes and destroy fifty in one hit! I wait. Silence. Not a word of objection. Getting braver I try again. Fifty more and another fifty! Yay. 482. I'm on a roll. Bang, bang! 282
But again I feel uncertain. These residents are newer. What if I've missed something? What if I lose an opportunity? I start to scan faces and assign a few to temporary housing. I knock one here and there. I'm sure some of them have run up from the back of the line. Surely I've seen them before!
Tired, I check with the statistician. Only 200 left. I can manage two hundred. That's okay. I'll fix the rest tomorrow.
But the next day is busy and so my computer remains inert.
I just opened the gate and....oh, no! There are 375 emails in my inbox again!
What a fabulous night! We launched 'Though the Bud be Bruised' with fun and fanfare. This picture pretty much summarises the night. Everything Pink and Black and beautiful - but a few details fell sideways!
Did that matter? No!
In the background of this pictures you can see the books covered, waiting. We didn't open the boxes until the program was complete. Then we put a book in every hand, so they could touch, feel, and read. Then we trusted them to either pay or return the book.
Did the party reach my expectations? I had three aims. I wanted...
- everyone to enjoy themselves
- the participants to leave as excited advocates for my book
- God's victory to be evident.
The room was full. There were about 200 people who were enthusiastic and excited. I've had lots of comments about the detail - the roses bruised on the path as people walked in, the petals which are still covering the front floor of my church, the pink and black food served by my wonderful grandchildren and the roses everywhere.
Steve made a powerful opening speech, honouring God and encouraging men to read the book. My amazing guest speaker, Wendy Francis, Qld CEO of Australian Christian Lobby, put aside her own causes to quote from the book and talk about it. I was honoured by her words and encouragement.
I took the opportunity to thank my friends, Dawn and Sue who have put so much effort into the book with advice and editing. I was very pleased to have my publisher,Rochelle, to share and delighted she sold many books written by other Australian authors.
We gave everyone a lucky petal and drew a couple of prizes. It was just a fun night.
So I return to the question - Was it successful. God was honoured, people did have fun and many books were sold.
I wait now to see if I have generated excited advocates. Only time will tell, but I do know of one friend that has two copies out on loan, another who intends giving it to the leaders of their children's ministry, another who says he'll be using it in evangelism! Yes I'm encouraged. But I'm excited when someone reads it and then has to 'pray about just so many things'.
It was more than a book launch! We celebrated a great victory.
The evil that was designed to destroy us and our family has been turned completely around. It has been exposed in this book of victory. May many others find victory through the pages of 'Though the Bud be Bruised.'
As my book begins to be more widely distributed, I find myself watching,wondering and waiting. What do they think? Are they reading it or is it gathering dust? Do they think I'm crazy?
Having never published a book before, I'm surprised by this stage. Although 'Though the Bud be Bruised' isn't officially released until 1st June, there are several copies now being read by close friends and reviewers.
The problem is I know where each book is, and I keep wondering...and watching for feedback.
But I had a revelation! My book has left home! I will always be its author, but it must now make its own way in the big wide world. It will succeed or fail on its own merit. It is now in the public domain and must accept the people's judgement.
Like any good parent I have done my best. I have prepared it for the world, encouraged it to be true to itself; to carry its message with pride and determination rather than aim to join the popular crowd. I have drummed into it the importance of accuracy and simplicity and helped it chose truth over convention.
It is never easy to release a child into the world, to sever the apron strings and allow them to succeed or fail on their own merit. Every parent wants to hover, to ensure that the child makes the best choices, works hard and drives safely. But the time comes when you must wave them good-bye, close the door, release them to God's care and protection and live your own life in peace.
So it is with 'Though the Bud be Bruised.' It is finished. I must release it to do its work. Oh, yes! I'll still talk about it, promote it and do my best to help it travel far and wide. I will rejoice in its success and contend with its opponents. But with God's help I won't worry about it any longer. As Pilate said, 'I have written what I have written!'
This week has been a lot of fun as I prepare for the party to celebrate the release of my book, 'Though the Bud be Bruised.' Replies to the invitations are filtering in. Food is organised and the drinks are stowed ready. Everything follows the colour theme as established set by the book cover and so I've been chasing down a variety of things from black serviettes to pink balloons.
On the way I've made a few exciting discoveries, little things that seem to there waiting for me to find them! I was shopping with Julie, my friend and party consultant yesterday. (She has an eye for the extraordinary that can turn a room into a sensation!) We were shopping in a popular candle store looking for pink tea-lights when she spies a beautiful candle. It was crafted in the shape of a rose and just happened to be the same colour as the rose on the cover of the book. Excited, she is planning where to use them. I am cautious. I'm sure they will be expensive. But wait! They are on sale as they were Mother's day stock, so now reduced to $5 each. We get five of them. But when they go through the cash register they have been reduced again. Now only $2. I grab more of them.
We leave the shop feeling the favour of the Lord. I'm sure he's going ahead of me to organise things. Farewelling Julie, I walk into the next shop and find a great skirt to wear. And guess what? It has roses on the black lace. The shop assistant asks about the book launch and takes a card so she can order a book from Amazon.
From there I go next door. There I find a black top that has lace sleeves with...you guessed it...roses in the lace. I grab that, thankful for the sale price and bring it all home to try with the pink scarf I bought last week. Together it looks great. Oh and did I tell you that the scarf came with a pendant - a large moulded rose.
All these little things remind me that God is always leading and guiding me. I feel safe in the hollow of his hand. It gives me confidence the book has been written at right time.
Last night, I was climbing into my pyjamas when it hit me. 'Oh, it's Thursday and I haven't done my blog! What about all my adoring public who are waiting with bated breath to see what Jo has to say today!'
The problem is my forgettery, or maybe my total lack of routine.
I have noticed in life that some people are organised, calm and plan ahead. I have tried to be that person. It doesn't work. If I could remember my decision to be systematic, it might happen. But something more interesting always comes along. The phone rings, or I notice the pattern of the spiders web in the garden, or I start reading blogs and, without meaning to, I'm out of routine.
Recently I started taking medication. Three tablets every night. Easy? I'll manage to remember for about a week. Then one day I'll get up and whilst moving them from the middle of my kitchen bench, (where they live to help me remember!) I realise I've forgotten them again. So now I have an alarm set every night at 9.30 to remind me. Some nights I climb out of bed to swallow them!
Why is such a little thing so difficult for me?
Steve on the other hand is a person of routine - slow steady and methodical. He never forgets tablets, or realises that he hasn't had breakfast after he's left home. Everything is done in the same order so there's no chance he'll forget the deodorant! For forty years he's closed doors after me, reminded me to turn off the iron, got me out of bed to clean my teeth...and run me late! For him, it is more important to finish everything than get there on time! I'm happy to leave the dishes in the sink to get out the door. I want to have enough time to enjoy good conversation before any event starts.
I've decided I am who I am. But I also understand I need those methodical people around me. I, in a moment of inspiration, changed my whole life style and wrote a book. Why? Just because! However the book would never have been published if it wasn't for the detail people that surround me. My friend, Sue, spent hours making corrections for me. She fixed spelling, adjusted punctuation, highlighted anything I'd repeated, and complained when the word I'd chosen was out of context. So many others also helped to produce a book of excellent quality. I wanted excellent quality, but, when I checked it, I didn't see errors. I just read what I knew is supposed to be there!
What about you? Are you a steady, methodical person or impulsive and scattered like me. The world needs us all! And we need to honour the gifts and characteristics in others, even if we don't understand them!
'You were rejected in the womb.' He waited for her confirming nod.
'But, when you were born your father called you to life.'
She sat, showing no emotion.
'When he died, when you were four, you were rejected again . You retreated into yourself.'
When there was no response, he continued. 'I believe God has asked me to tell you that he has an amazing plan for your life, exciting things for you to do. But he wants me to tell you that He loves you. If you walk into the plans he has for you he will love you. If you choose to never do any of those things He still loves you. His love is not conditional on what you do. His love for you is passionate and never ending. Even if you spend your life in bed, He will still love you. He made you. He planned your birth. You were never a mistake. He loves you.'
In last weeks blog, I challenged us to live as victors, to live 'above the line'. It is the most satisfying, productive way to live.
This week, I've remembered the above story. This word from the Lord was for a lady I know. But it is the heart of God for every one of us. He loves me. He loves you. That love never wavers or changes.
Our behaviour never affects His love but how we respond to that love will affect our behaviour. It took me forty four years before I really believed God loved me. The all guilt, condemnation and hopelessness lifted off me. I was okay! God said it. I finally believed it. His love has given me the confidence to do many wonderful things in my life!
A few weeks ago I was walking, early in the morning, on the Gold Coast and thanking God for the beauty of colour, reflection and light in the sky. As I watched His hand appeared in the sky. His right hand stretched out in a blessing! Today I want to share it with you because He loves you so much.
Victims of sexual abuse? They are everywhere. How can this be? Why does this disgusting crime continue to escalate in our society and why doesn't God do something about it?
