Not my Fault, but my Responsibility

Day 12 & 13

Today, I'm pleased to be on this juicing adventure. I'm feeling good, except for aching joints, especially hips. My knee seems to be recovering well so I'm hoping the hips will feel better soon. I'm missing my early morning walks and am really looking forward to returning to my hill.

My stomach has stopped its constant whinging for real food. It is only in last couple of days that I've been free of the demand. Last night I made Mexican dinner for nine and it was much easier than last week, I spent a fair while browning mince and chicken with out feeling as though I must have some. This morning as I thought about it, I realized Peter Pratt is right. I can't remember how Mexican food tastes. But I can remember what cheese tastes like. I asked someone else to grate it to stop the temptation to pop a sliver in my mouth!

According to my scales I have lost 5 kilos! 7.9% of my body weight has disappeared. Some of the group have lost 10% and more. My aim is to lose 20% eventually. I'm really looking forward to new clothes. I do have one pair of fabulous pants in the cupboard. I picked them up on sale six months ago and put them away until I lost a couple of kilos! They fit now, which is both fabulous and disastrous. I probably won't get a lot of wear out of them!

The biggest realisation in the last few days is how difficult it is to keep blood sugar stable when you are a diabetic. I've been blaming myself for years for sugar levels. As it is a lifestyle disease, I felt I caused it. Therefore it's my fault when my readings go up and my fault cause I haven't lost more weight. ( I have lost over twenty kilos since first diagnosed.)

My reading last night was 5.2 . Awesome! this is an all time low.This morning when I got up it was 8. I hadn't eaten between tests. It wasn't my fault. Two hours after breakfast it was 6.4. By the time I got to have my lunch juice, it was back to 7.1. There is no logic at all. I am looking forward to it stabilizing, but meanwhile I have released myself from guilt.

A few weeks back, at the Diabetic Health Clinic, we saw a movie of a doctor speaking. He said weight could be the consequence of the disease, rather what has always been assumed - the disease being caused by the weight. the problem is a consequence of our national diet. Some get diabetes...some don't. Many who have been diagnosed aren't overweight.

So I no longer own the blame, but I do own the fight! There is a way to stop the rot, literally, and regain health. I am on the path and I must choose to stay on it. At the end of this adventure, there will be a new way of eating in this household. Steve is already starting to embrace it. We are excited.