'Eeekk!' A door slammed.
My niece, who lived with us, ran into the kitchen, white faced and shaking. 'A snake...a snake in the toilet.'
I took a deep breathe and went to investigate. Pushing the door open, I peered into the room. 'I can't see a snake.'
'Open...open the lid!' She was hiding behind me.
I did and there it was! A large carpet snake, curled within the bowl of the toilet. And it was only a few minutes until ten of our best clients were coming to a dinner party!
I did what any calm hostess does! I bellowed for my husband. He scratched his head while I fretted. Would I have to tell my guests that we couldn't offer toilet facilities?
'Steve, WHAT are you going to do?'
'It's okay. Calm down! I have a plan.'
'I'll get Lance's help. He's an old bushy. He'll know what to do.' The door bell rang.
When our client, Lance, arrived, there were six guests in my lounge room who heard Steve say, 'Come with me. We have a little matter to take care of.'
His wife raised an eyebrow. 'What is that about?'
I sunk into the nearest lounge. 'Believe me, you don't want to know!'
As the other men gathered around my toilet door to offer advice and be entertained, Bob removed the uninvited guest amid much frivolity. When the men returned, they assured the women they had located the broken grate where the reptile had invaded our private space.
'We covered it with a brick. He won't come back!'
However I noticed everyone carefully watching how much they drank that night. No wanted to have to use that loo!