Thursday, 10 January 2013

Not this girl - I'm not addicted

    I'm not an alcoholic! Nor am I addicted to nicotine or and kind of drug. No vices for this girl.
    I started smoking in my teens. I remember the day I purchased my first packet, telling myself that a few smokes wouldn't do any harm. By the time I had smoked half the packet, addiction was wrapping its tentacles around my throat. The fear of my mother made me quit. I balanced the remaining filthy weeds on their filters, lit them all and watched the ashes of my smoking life.
    For years I've walked in that self righteousness that comes from escaping the snare. But, if I'm honest  my addictive personality is exposed in other places like the bathroom scales! Recently I've discovered that some people can become addicted to carbohydrates. I didn't know such a thing was possible. I mean, you don't hear carbohydratics talked about very often.Where are the support groups? Weight loss groups you suggest? But they spend all their time discussing new and innovative ways to eat more carbs. I know. I've been there.
   Surely I'm not an addict. I can control my eating. When I wake in the morning, I give myself a pep talk. You can do this. Only two pieces of fruit (sob) and two pieces of whole grain bread. Easy.
    Well it is easy-  until I finish the first piece of fruit, or toast. Have you ever noticed that one piece is never enough? My body demands more. So I come up with some clever justification and have another. Then the chocolate jumps out of the pantry and assaults me. With a great struggle I push it back but not until a couple of slabs have accidentally fallen into my mouth. While in the pantry, I pull out the savoury biscuits. Feeling smug now because I've beaten the sugar, I spread crackers with butter and Vegemite. This is better. I need the vitamin B.
    I settle in my chair with crackers and that little oblong device that helps me while away time. I won't play long. I have things to do. Soon the plate is empty. I finish this game of Sudoku and grab a few more biscuits. Luckily I've left the spreads on the bench. I'm hurrying now. I need to try and better my score at Sudoku.
To free my hands, a whole biscuit jumps into my mouth at a time. Two hands are more efficient and enable me to get a better score in the game. I push away the empty plate. I don't want any more. See I can say no to carbohydrates.
    My fingers punch numbers into the grid on the screen. I watch the score. This may be a record. Just then the home phone rings. I pause. Oh, no. I've let myself become distracted! I pull my attention back to the task at hand. I'm relieved when the phone stops ringing. It was interrupting my concentration.
    A little later hubby comes in from the garden looking for lunch. Lunch? I'm not hungry and and I'm too busy. I think he has a problem. Maybe he's addicted to food. But, I can't be worried about that. I have a new level of Suduko to conquer.
    As previously stated. I don't have any addictions.


  1. Too funny, Jo. Do you know, I went completely off sugar and carbs for months last year. I can remember literally curling up on my bed, agonising over that piece of chocolate I really wanted to have. That stuff sure has a strong hold! ;)

  2. I can sympathise, Amanda. However, Chocolate is good for you. Just buy the 85%. Very little sugar. xx